There has been a lot of unintentionally hilarious things said during the NSA spying scandal unleashed by leaks from Edward Snowden, but the latest statement from the NSA surely is the most hilarious. After Senator Sanders raised the question of whether or not the NSA was spying on members of Congress to gain political leverage the agency has been increasingly evasive.

First the NSA said members of Congress were treated the same as all American citizens, the implication being that they were being spied on. But now the NSA has said, wait for it, they can’t search their own database to see if they spied on members of Congress because that would, wait for it, break the law.

The National Security Agency said it is lawfully unable to search its database to determine if it has swept up phone records from members of Congress or other elected officials.  NSA Director Keith Alexander said, however, nothing the agency does can be fairly described as “spying on Members of Congress” or U.S. politicians, according to a letter dated Jan. 10.

The director said the agency could not cull its database because it can only access records that are reasonably suspected to be linked to a foreign terrorist group. “For that reason, NSA cannot lawfully search to determine if any records NSA has received under the program have included metadata of the phone calls of any member of Congress, other American elected officials, or any other American without that predicate,” Alexander said.


The NSA believes that you, dear reader, are so abysmally stupid that you will actually believe they collect intelligence information but do not read it. They really believe you are that moronic. Which is just sad on a number of levels.

But if you really are that dumb, let my help you. That’s bullshit. They can and do access their own intelligence files.