My Answer to Maeleena

Many thanks to dyssonance… I was moved and remembering today.

Last night I received the following comment over on my blog regarding the news out of California:


Maeleena, on November 20th, 2008 at 1:02 am Said: Edit Comment

Homosexuals want to be considered as having normal behavior by everyone through law.

There is a difference be behavior choices and ones color of skin. Color of skin is not a choice but behavior is a choice.

It is known as a fact that homosexuals do want children in school to be taught that their behavior is a normal behavior.

Look at Rainbow ciriculum in CA and then a father getting arrested in MA after his 6 year old came home from school with a book that had pictures of homosexual partners and children as families. All he requested was that parents be informed and given a choice on whether their children should learn of such behavior in school.

If that is not forcing life style behavior choices on others than what is?

Homosexual behavior is not normal. Never has been and never will be. It doesn’t matter what kind of wrapping it is given. It has nothing to do with discrimination against a persons race and therefore should not be included as such and to do with civil rights.

Also otherwise everyone has the rights already to live with whoever they want and to include whoever they want on their insurance policies, wills, and power of attorney forms, etc, etc, etc.

This is not a civil rights issue. It is a behavior issue.

Forcing everyone to accept something that is abnormal behavior to not think anything about it is what is wrong.

And after much thought, here is my answer. Hopefully I channelled my inner “Pam Voice of Reason” (you outta trademark that, btw!) instead of Louise’s usual smartassedness…

(more below the fold)

Where to begin… how about this.

I am a straight ally and parent who has been actively discussing homosexuality, including families, with our own children for years. It all started when my daughter’s friend discussed with her that her younger brother was discovering he was gay and both children were terrified of their own parents finding out.

Can you not imagine how that must feel for this boy? 10 years old and UNABLE to talk to his parents- only his 12 year old sister? Or for his sister- also unable to talk to her parents and needing the support from someone she trusts?

This boy is not making a “choice”; if anything, he would love NOT to be in this situation that he knows his parents will be horrified to find out about. I know people who have been thrown out on the street at age 18 by their own parents and with police there to assist.

I have had gay and lesbian coworkers and neighbors for YEARS in every state I have lived in (4 so far ranging from Maine to Texas). 3 sets were long-term committed couples and not one whit different that me and my husband but for the obvious.

They were simply people who are not evil, sick or deranged in any way- they were just regular people. Over the past few years, I have also befriended many people online who cover the entire LGBTQ spectrum. They are not a danger to society or to children; they are again, regular people.  

What’s more, YOU DO know someone who is gay as well- even if they are closeted. And that’s a shame.

Now try to imagine how it feels as an ADULT.

You’re ridiculed for being WHO YOU ARE. You are insulted, intimidated, and possibly physically assaulted or killed.

You cannot hold hands without drawing judgmental or sneering looks. You can be fired from your job, you can be kicked out of your apartment, you cannot marry the person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with (if you are lucky enough to have such a relationship) let alone enjoy the same rights and privledges as all other married couples, you cannot adopt, you cannot have any say in the healthcare of your spouse.

Why on Earth, given this very incomplete laundry list of inequality, would anyone “CHOOSE” to be gay and put themselves in this position? Hell, not just ONE- why would MILLIONS of people, in our country alone?

So let me ask you for a second to imagine, the same as I asked my 12 year old: WHAT IF homosexuality were the societally accepted norm and HETEROS were considered “abnormal”?

Can you try, for the sake of argument, to see the flip side of the coin? Please?

My kid COULD. And the realization changed her FOREVER.

She doesn’t have to be gay to have compassion, understanding or a desire to see our country treat all of its citizens evenly and fairly. And neither do I.

Do you?

Looking for feedback: Okay? Fair? Need more?

Overdone? Frankly, this is my first time of attempting to speak with a straight regarding gay marriage, let alone one whose mind is currently slammed shut to the point of posting on an ally’s blog.